Twas the night before Xmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL DARLINGS!
Things are just busy busy busy right now so will fill you all in asap! Am off to eat, drink and be merry!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Life is just one cocktail after the next...

THINGS I LOVE:


Christmas with my family- squabbles and all
When my hubby cooks me dinner
Eating street food- Sev Puri is my fave
Walking round the house in my knickers in the hot and steamy Mumbai heat
Cocktails with my friends especially when you end up having a boogie
Cuddles with the little munchkins whilst watching tv
Chamak Challo the song
A Snickers bar right out of the refrigerator
Seeing the little man win over the big "CORPORATION"
BOLLYWOOD O.T.T' (It's a whole look)
Going to the movies in India and ordering whatever I want to eat
Sushi and sashimi at The Four Seasons 
Sunday brunches in Mumbai with free flowing cocktails
Eating Oysters in Cap Ferret
MY TWO HANDSOME BOYS
Jimmy Choo shoes...on my feet
FRANCE for "Oh so many reasons"
My aaji who is one of the people I most admire in my life
Shopping at the DIOR store (Avenue Montaigne) in Paris
Having a life full of freedom...something so many people are not blessed with
Ooh la la- Tu Hai Meri Fantasy the song
Being able to say I am part Indian
AUSTRALIA'S draw dropping coastline
Getting a manicure in India...ahhh bliss
Babies...need I say more
Having a driver after a long lunch out with the girls
Spending time with the children of Mumbai who are less fortunate than my own
Old friends from high school that I'm still close to
Wearing an amazing outfit and knowing everyone else thinks it is too
Dancing till dawn
Yoga first thing in the morning followed by juice and muesli
Foie gras on a warm brioche (not good for the arse but hey!)
Pani puri with the MINX

Tu Hai Meri Fantasy

I need a double shot right NOW

So "HRH" made the faux pas of going to the hairdressers without moi yesterday. Big mistake (like as in when Julia Roberts used this line in Pretty Woman) big mistake! I arrived home to find our bathroom door locked and our housekeeper extremely concerned about "sir". I knocked on the door gently and using my most soothing voice I asked what was wrong with HRH. No response. After a good ten minutes "HRH" finally coughed up the truth. He had made an attempt at colouring his hair at the hairdressers today....my heart began to pound rather fast. "What the hell do you mean?" I asked- adding "darling" in at the end for good measure. "Your hair looked fab as it was love!" I cooed nervously. "We don't call you the silver fox for nothing!" There was a hint of desperation by now. "C'mon now, no more joking around you know we have a big dinner with friends tonight- show yourself buddy." Slowly the door handle turned and HRH came out meekly...I gasped in horror. Oh no. "What the f#*k!"

Trust me you don't want to wake up next to him!

The man that stood before me was not my husband. At least I hoped he wasn't. Oh god I needed a drink. I called out to our housekeeper to make an emergency G&T and pronto. And I ushered the "thing" that stood before me back into the bathroom. Poor HRH had a head of red hair. I'm not kidding you- I mean ginger red. That awful colour that some Indian men go when they have applied henna to their hair and the sun exposure turns it a red/ginger (near Ronald bloody McDonald) colour. Freaking hell. We couldn't go out to dinner with everyone that night to "THE TABLE" in south Mumbai with HRH looking like that. He would clash with his prada shirt I'd just bought him! Fashion faux pas number 1. Don't channel Ronald McDonald EVER!
Apparently he had gone down to "Toni & Guy" Bandra and thought he would take his senior hairstylist's (my bloody arse) opinion. What a friggin disaster. "Call the driver darling you're heading back to Toni & Guy."
As I headed off to pick the kids up from school and the radio blared "Oh La La- Tu Hai Meri Fantasy" I prayed that HRH would come to his senses and correct the horrific hair colour situation. What was he doing colouring it anyway? I had always told him the silver fox look was a winner. Was he having an affair? They say men go and do silly things like this when they have a new lover...No of course not. What was I bloody thinking?
When I got back from school I paced around waiting for HRH's return. Finally the key turned in the lock and he was back. OH MY GOD! His hair was worse. He had gone jet black. NOOOOOOOOO! Why? Why would he do this to me? To us?
I nearly fainted. HRH has had silver hair for so long that it was like Richard Gere walking in with jet black hair if you get my drift...it was shocking. It was awful. What would the regrowth look like? Calling it a disaster would have been a euphemism if ever I heard one. Okay. Breathe. It's nearly christmas. You love your husband. (Son of a b#*ch- how could he do this before our pre xmas dinner with friends?) And he was smiling. He twirled himself around and said "Taadaa... all fixed darling!" I could have wrung his little neck...
By the look on my face he new things were FAR from fixed. I told him to take a look in the mirror. That he looked a little different and our friends and family would be shocked. (To say the least.) Aaree yaar. At this point I didn't think even his own kids would recognise him anymore!

That crack was a BIG MISTAKE...big mistake.

Finally he realised that even though our driver had given him the thumbs up of approval it wasn't the best gage. Reality hit. And hard. "Oh my god I can't go out like this can I ?" He cried. I shook my head sadly and that was when he knew he would never be going to Toni and Guy's again- or would ever think of colouring his hair ever again. I told him that I even thought he may have been having an affair when he came home with red hair. Poor HRH was so upset. He cancelled dinner with our friends and whisked me off for a romantic dinner for two at Olive in Pali Hill. It was a great night even if I did feel like I was dining with Richard Gere on crack...LOL. His heart is in the right place. I'll just have to get used to it for a while. I know what will be top of his christmas list now....A BLOODY HAT!
And with that I must fly. The tiddly winks are on holiday already so I should probably organise a play date or two. It's christmas week and now I'm in search of a good hat shop. I know a fabulous one in Portofino but Mumbai? Hmmmm. May have to google it. HRH is in desperate need.
Thanks for reading everyone and stay tuned for more hijinks. The QM arrives on wednesday and have managed to pin down KCM. He's flying in from Bangkok. Lord knows what he's been up to.
Queenie xxx

Dreams

An Xmas champagne coctail s'il vous plait?

Namaskar readers, on this lovely cool sunday morning in the city of all cities- MUMBAI!
We are now officially 7 days out from Christmas and it will be my first ever celebrated in India. Christmas brunch has been booked, flights organised to Jaipur, hotels sorted in Agra for the Taj Mahal visit and our regular driver is ready to go in Udaipur one of my favourite places in all the world. My christmas tree is up with presents underneath and the little munchkins have written their letters to father christmas too. What to do now? Eat. Drink. And of course be merry. My very festive red louboutins are out of the box ready to wear and I'm just finalising my ensemble for the big day. Somehow I don't think my Herve Leger silver bandage dress will be suitable? I might go the more casual Chloe day dress? Hmmm yes. Will need something expandable to say the least. Christmas brunch will be a long affair I can assure you. I wonder if Santa got me the Jade Jagger jewellery from "Le Mill" that I'd been wanting as a stocking filler? I doubt it. Santa has gotten a little practical in his older age these days (wink wink.)

Dreams by Sapana Spring Summer 2011 collection

I had some cocktails with a gorgeous designer last night (at Esco Bar in Bandra) who is still a relative secret (very exclusive and hush hush) nobody likes to wear mainstream these days. Sadly Ritu Kumar has joined the mainstream crowd in my books. I'm all about exclusivity and being able to wear fabulous designers that not every tom, dick or Aditya would wear. So I have ordered this fabulous outfit for an upcoming event I have planned. It's a long white skirt with a gold and black trim and the sexiest teeny tiny matching bolero jacket. I think this piece would be a show stopper. Of course we can only dream of looking like the model (sadly I DO NOT grizzle grizzle fricking cheese naans!) but even if I look half as good as her then I'll be over the moon. Take a squizz at her website too ( right hand sidebar beside the image- DREAMS BY SAPANA) as she custom makes divine pieces and location is no problem. You can be in the states (she's actually american but based in Mumbai now) or Australia or the U.K and still wear these unique outfits! Woohoo. I'm sold baby.
What else is new? Ohhh yes I was out and about at the Oberoi mall and spotted my fave Priyanka Chopra and SRK promoting the launch of the new Don 2 games. HRH was thrilled and I do have to admit that Pri was looking pretty amazing in her light pink mini dress. DAMN them Indian hotties. I mean I'm half Indian but I just don't seem to get any of the good traits. Oh well, hi ho hi ho it's off to the bloody gym I go. I have to try to get into my "Dreams by Sapana" outfit soon. Crikey.
Hope all your xmas preps are going good darlings... when all else fails just pop a bottle of champers I say. I mean it's christmas so it's obligatory.
Queenie xxx

Dirty Picture

Well there was a lot of hype about this movie. It's set in the eighties so it's pretty hilarious to look back on that whole era and have a laugh. The costumes and songs and makeup are so over the top- indicative of that whole period in Bollywood film. I don't know why but I keep thinking of Sri Devi when I see this trailer. She was definetly my all time eighties bollywood queen. She was so eighties. With her full lips and curvy voluptuos eighties figure. But if you see her these days she's a shadow of what she was. She's so slim and cautious and wears alot of safe colours like black, white and wait for it...BEIGE!!!! Plus she has done something to her nose. And probably other things too I'd say. It's so sad. Anyhow what was I saying?
Dirty Picture... ohhhhh. Yes I just don't see why everyone got so hyped about it being sexy? I overheard some young boys saying they HAD to go see it. But it's all in the title. Apart from having that catchy "Ooh la la Ooh la la" song it wasn't that DIRTY at all to me. Although you could be mistaken into thinking so by the looks of this trailer... but don't believe em'. This is Bollywood. Not art house french. So you definetly will not see any raw uncensored (or hairy european) body parts. LOL. Did I just say that? Looks like I did. Too funny. I need a drink.

It's been mad I tell you...

Ok so the Sangria is a nice change...

So it's been quite a week. Phew. Where to start? Nowhere. I don't think I can really do any of it justice to be honest. Lets just do a quick little list. So much easier than me having to write a beautiful long narrative...what's the diff my friends? Be kind.
Friday 9th december: A girlfriend's 35th birthday party in Bandra which ended up being ANOTHER incredibly late night. Of course by 2 am I found myself at another one of those "friends of a friends friend's" party in the south somewhere with a B grade Bollywood star to my right and a bonified prince to my left. AS you do darling....as you do. Only in Mumbai. The Moet was free flowing so in my books it's all fair in love and party land.
Saturday 10th december:  A wonderful day spent having a fabulously luxurious lie in. A slice or two of pizza and a bad Jen Anniston rom-com on the telly. Bliss.

You, me and a champers baby!

Sunday 11th december: The boys (HRH and the PM) had a very long day off playing golf with some other boys and the tiddly winks and I had a day wrapping christmas presents for our overseas friends and went to see a movie together.
Monday 12th december: Our christmas party for the children we teach english to that live on construction sites. What an amazing day!  I don't really think I can begin to describe how I felt- being there with them. It was the saddest most joyful time all at once. When the older boys gifted all the volunteers a wonderful painting as a thank you gift- we ALL just broke down into tears. It was out of joy...yet there was also an underlying sadness. It's a really tough thing to try to explain. But it just left me very raw for the whole day. Everything seemed to pale in significance. I was once again entirely consumed with love and concern and pain for the kids. I was so out of sync that I had to head over to a close friends house and just have some time out. We got through several bottles of chardonnay. What can I say. No comment.
Tuesday 13th december: An intimate lunch with some of my closest friends I have made in Mumbai. It was a pre christmas farewell of sorts. We decided to order jugs of sangria and just have a good old rant. It was fricken fantastic. Nothing like a good release...and who better with than good friends. You know what? I've met some pretty fab people since I've been in India. Thank god because when you live so far away from home you really do need close friends. I had just enough time to race home, have a quick shower, change my outfit, spray some perfume and head back out to Hakka San in Bandra for dinner with some of our other friends. Note to self: Don't try to show off about being able to eat super spicy food when eating in an establishment that has a bathroom hostess. Those walls are pretty thin and the bathroom hostess' knows all. No wonder she was smirking as I walked out. I might give Hakka San a break for a while me thinks....

One of our angels with his xmas present

Wednesday 14th december:   Prince M started our morning off with a musical performance at school. Rather early too if I may add. But alas it was a proud motherly moment for Queenie. I have to admit the wee princes have adapted to Mumbai expat life rather seemlessly (thank god or I would never have forgiven myself!) and I was filled with pride seeing them today. Even just watching them run around with their friends and appear to be at home when on campus. It's pretty great...as a parent. Now where was I?
Ahhh yes. Lunch was shared at the American Consulate General's private residence with 50 other American Women's Club members. I of course headed straight for the champagne (don't roll your eyes...it was rose champagne okay) and spotted a few friends. The food was good, lovely ladies AND I even won one of the charity raffles so it was a great day in all. Have to be honest though I was really shocked at the lax attitude with security. Nobody asked me for photo I.D so I could have honestly been anyone claiming I was on the list and been allowed entry. Pretty scary stuff. I mean I was nervous just being there for the few hours I was. Let alone having to live there. I mean the consulate general's home was really warm and comfortable and felt pretty homely but still. It would be a very tough decision to have to make to live on the grounds of the American consulate in Mumbai. Just saying.
Well that's me for now everyone. I'm bloody shattered. And of course haven't made it once to the gym or yoga. So failing the pre xmas diet and get fit plan. What a damn joke. I mean as if? Who does that?
Thanks for reading again my friends. A big hello to everyone in South Korea, Australia, Russia and Singapore! And thanks especially to all my loyal readers here in India I don't know what I'd do without you all.
Queenie xxx

Some expat huh? Seriously.

Sigh it's back to water for Queenie

Ok I gotta stop EATING and DRINKING so much. My ass is fast becoming the size of a bus. Not just any bus- one of those big red double decker ones. It's depressing. So much for christmas cheer.
I'll be happy if I just get through christmas without one of my family members commenting on my new found "Indian belly and butt". Some days I just wish I'd be hit with food poisoning or even the flu would be fine. I'm sure if all I ate were chicken noodle soups for a week I could lose at least a stone? Damn my bloody resistance- it's not fair! I take all sorts of non expat safe risks such as eating street food, having ice in my drinks and even drinking chai from the chaiwallas....but nothing. Not a nada. Every morning I wake to a healthy "grumbling for food" appetite. Bugger. Some expat I am. All I have is a hang belly (like my ten year old cat) and an ass that seems to have a life of it's own. It's going to need it's own wardrobe soon. (And sleeping quarters!)

Yoga my ass...

So maybe I should ask father christmas for a spray tan, a bad case of campylobacter and an anti cellulite butt massager. Do they even exist? Surely.
Thanks for tuning in everyone. As usual I'm overwhelmed by all the readers. And from all over the world! This week there are special thanks needed for you all from Trinidad and Tobago, Germany, Canada, Taiwan and Singapore. Fantastic stuff!
Queenie xxx

Sunshine

Post yoga cocktail?

Hello my lovelies, I've had a wonderful yoga session this morning followed by the "Yogi's breakfast" and a good gossip with the girls. Bliss.
Life is good. Getting incredibly busy with christmas parties at the orphanage and for the students we teach english to etc. Pre christmas farewell parties and inbound guests. But it's been fun. The silly season is upon us- Mumbai style.
We have our christmas tree up and decorated with gifts beneath already. I have so many presents left to choose. HRH get's off scott free with out a care in the world for gifts, or greeting cards. But I have the task of making sure everyone is catered to.I really want to buy our housekeeper a gift too -obviously along with her bonus. So I will have to force myself to hit the stores again...diddums. I'm sure I can drag myself out there with the masses. Shouldn't be too painful. Except for the Visa.
I am seriously trying to have a quiet week but there is always so much going on in Mumbai that it is just impossible! Every time I settle in for a "night in" my iphone bleeps to tell me I'm late for someone's party or lunch or breakfast. Plus I could also do with a little less food at the moment. Let's be honest I don't NEED it. Especially not the curry and roti. Which is tough when you live in India and actually love it...
A friend sent me this clip yesterday- apparently I'm the last person in the world to have seen it. I just think it's hilarious. People in India can be so innocent and always super passionate about their music. This guy is just a crack up. I don't know how old he is but I sure wish I had that kinda energy in the mornings. I love it when he grabs his body lotion...so funny. Hope you're all well out there. I'm off for lunch with the PM and HRH. We might hit Sancho's for some mexican. I might be able to squeeze in a quick lunchtime margharita too. Oohhh that's a great idea. Talk soon. Looks like we will be moving apartments after New Years. Drama's on the home front but nothing too serious. Enjoy the day...it's sunny again in Mumbai. Hahaha....isn't it always?
Queenie xxx

Sunset

A DIRTY MARTINI PEUT ETRE?

So we officially have our first guest in Mumbai. The PM arrived yesterday at the ungodly hour of 4am. I had initially planned a few martini's with a girlfriend on my balcony while we waited for his plane to land. But this being Mumbai and all- complications were to be had. He had unfortunately brought more than his quota of alcohol into the country. The 5 bottles of pineau and "St Emilion Grand Cru classe" did make it safely off the plane but were then picked up by airport control. By the time he arrived "HRH" and I were passed out on the bed after doing our very best to stay up and be 'festive'. C'mon it was 4:30 am and we ain't spring chickens any longer. So in PM's honor we hit AER bar for sunset cocktails last night. Completely lost count of numbers but there were well over 20 of us by 8pm and I'm sure the staff were getting annoyed at our ever increasing lounge area. (Should of just rented the place out of course!) Once again the place was crawling with designers, models and very good looking European gay men- in my opinion the perfect combination for late night antics of the Mumbai kind. Managed to crawl home at a respectable hour so as not to have the snoozing watchman break his sleep. One has to be respectful in these circumstances. My brain now feels overloaded with three languages buzzing around in my head. I keep switching from french to english to hindi- and it's all a little too much for me the morning after. I hadn't opened the french box in well over 3 months and now throwing it back into the mix is interesting to say the least. Serves me right. Those bloody dirty martini's were dangerous.

So this grandaddy is a bit of a DUDE...

Poor "HRH" just has no luck at the moment- he left his new credit card in a machine and it got destroyed. Now he has to re-order one from Australia and get it couriered over here and get the pin activated etc. etc. etc. As you can imagine he is slightly peeved. Well we could just pop down the road for some pani puri. That would lift his spirits...food always does the trick.
Right well I'm off to take the kids to this quicksilver event at the Ambani International school. Apparently Tony Hawke is skating. They've constructed a huge halp pipe looking thing. I suppose I could go take a squizz. I mean the man has to be a grandfather by now right? Wasn't he a champion skate boarder about 10 years ago? And doesn't he have a few of his own playstation games???? Yeah that's the one. Do grandfathers still skate? LOL I spose so. The things we do for our kids huh.

Queenie x

Dreams are free

Great mojito at Aurus today

So we went to Juhu today. The beach was packed (as per usual- where isn't in Mumbai right?) so we decided to hit Aurus bar for an afternoon cocktail. Was pretty impressed. I had a damn good mojito. Fresh limes and so thirst quenching... Obviously I had to have a few. It was just so hot. Like I mean sticky hot. It's weird though because it feels like a dry heat and yet the wet patches on your shirt tell you otherwise. Which made me realise I needed a new hat. It's just impossible to spend longer than ten minutes in the sun without wishing you had a hat on. So I'm getting a new one... that's that. I don't care that women don't really wear them here. I don't care if the locals stare at me like a skinny man in the States. I'm going to get one. Oh and while I'm at the hat store I might as well stop drinking, smoking and lose those extra ten pounds from last christmas. Yeah right baby. Dream on. Right I'm off to watch the "Graham Norton show" (my fave) he has Johnny Depp on this week. Ohhhh can't wait. Where's the remote. Ohhhh Ricky Gervais is on too. I might get a vino this looks like a goodie. Might just bring the whole bottle...that way I don't have to get up. Yoga tomorrow morning...stop smirking you lot.

Johnny we love you...

Queenie x

Playing by the rules is highly over rated

I don't believe in all that science mumbo jumbo- just love, good sex and of course MUSIC. And these beats tickle my fancy today. They're not exactly P.C... But wouldn't it be a boring world if we played it safe all of the time? Playing by the rules is highly over rated. So I warn you...all conservative types don't push play. And definetly don't play this song for your grandmother when she's over for scones and cream... Not unless you have the ambulance on speed dial. (And she's decided to cut you out of the will...) Chuckle. I'm just joking. Seriously.
And with that thought I leave you -I'm off to the gym for a yawn session. And then meeting up with friends to take the tiddly winks out for brunch at the Grand Hyatt. I love a good "oink oink" session. You never can eat too much in my books. And it doesn't really count if you have friends with you. It all get's gobbled up into the "I don't remember doing that" box. With the help of a few martini's of course.
The ever incorrigible Queenie x

Ordered Mayhem

A breakfast bloody mary? 

Good morning Mumbai! I love mornings in India. It is the quietest, coolest most beautiful time of the day. As usual the sun is shining. Shop fronts are still closed. Chai wallas are making their way around for the people off to work. Dosas are sizzling away on the street corners. A couple of super sized green Indian ring neck parrots squabble on my balcony railing as I look down at the kids on their way to school. The girls shiny black plaits swing to and fro as they walk briskly through the school gates. I can hear them laughing and chatting amongst one another. This is Mumbai as I see, hear and smell it every morning. And little by little this is what I have become accustomed to. This is what I now call home. It has gone from being terrifyingly unfamiliar to now the seemingly tame almost reasonable workings of a city that bustles along with ordered mayhem. My home. Somehow Mumbai has reasoned with my judgement and lead me to believe that this....all of this going on around me makes every bit of sense. And with a blink of an eyelid the divide has been crossed. With each day I feel more and more...well local. If that can be possible. I now eat street food from my local favourite at least once a week. I barter in good humor with the same man 3 times a week for my bananas. The locals at the hardware store let the builder know I've arrived before I'm even in the door. It's this huge city that works and feels more like a country village during the day and then has the ability to be mysterious and exciting as soon as the sun goes down. It can be a thriving metropolis once you pop on a mini skirt and heels. This is home now. Wow. How the hell did that happen so quick? I need a drink just thinking about all that. A breakfast bloody mary will do just fine before yoga. Tomatoes are a super food and anti carcenagenic so they say. I'd say it's a perfectly healthy way to start the day. Oh put a sock in it I can hear you tutt tutting as I type. Plus it's thanksgiving holiday break. I'm celebrating in honor of all my darling American pals...

Just so beautiful

Thanks again for all the readers from Russia, South Korea, Norway, Canada, the U.K, the U.S of A and of course OZ and NZ. As for all my gorgeous readers in India thanks again yesterday saw you take over the U.S with the most readers for the day. Fabulous.
Queenie x

Thanksgiving

I'll have a Sangria....and keep them coming

Looked in the mirror this morning. Big mistake I must admit. The haggard old lady looking back at me seemed to answer to my name. Damn it. That really is me then. Oh stuff it. I'm going to have a whole box of chocolate and open a nice chilled bottle of chardonnay. Pre christmas diet begins tomorrow. Honest.
So we're not going anywhere for thanksgiving. Every man and his dog seems to be jetting off to an exotic location except us. But we have to be responsible and focus on landscape design for the property in Rajasthan. Ho hum- it doesn't cut the mustard though. The neighbours smiled smugly this evening as they walked through the lobby with their suitcases rolling behind them. I smiled and asked where they were off to (wish I bloody hadn't) because the response was: "Phuket- you know Thailand?" Yes of course I bloody know Thailand. Grumble grumble. White sandy beaches. Cocktails, delicious food. Yes I know bloody Thailand all right. Sorry, I know how spoilt I sound right now... Never mind. I don't even want to go to Thailand for the long weekend anyway. (I'M LYING RIGHT NOW IN CASE YOU COULDN"T TELL).
I'm going to have a top up on my vino though and sulk about it. Although there's heaps to do here over thanksgiving weekend. A nice long sunday brunch. Yes that'll do. Maybe Olive? With the non stop Sangria's....? Hmmmm could be worse. I might get a group together. Done.
Queenie -the horribly spoilt sounding Queen of the suburbs...I'm not though. Really.

Desi Boyz

Okay so the movie on every girls lips at the moment in Mumbai is Desi Boyz. And I wonder why? Being Bollywood of course there are scantily clad people but this time it's the buffed up John Abraham and Akshay Kumar showing all the skin... Throw in the gorgeous Deepika Padukone and some near naked european back up dancers and voila you have the next Bollywood hit. At the end of the day sex sells anywhere baby.... I must admit John Abraham's make up artist has worked wonders because the last time I saw him at "Saltwater Cafe" he looked like he'd just walked off a Clearasil advert. I must sympathise though- the climate in mumbai is the perfect breeding ground for oily skin. I mean you're constantly sweating (well you do when you're a chubby foreigner like moi) and apparently all the celebs wash their face at least 3 times during a day. I mean I'm just asking...who's got the time for that? I can now see a very good reason for using a Burka (finally) there are some days I think I should pop one on just to cover up "the face"...it'd be less expensive and less time consuming than using make up. Just saying...
Anyhoo another day is upon us. I'm going to push myself to make it to the gym before I head off to visit the centre that works for mothers and infants in the south. Must focus and concentrate on hitting that treadmill. C'mon Queenie christmas is nearly upon us love. Good God. How am I meant to loose all those extra pounds from last year before this year is up? I need a bloody drink just thinking about it!
Queenie x

Lost all sense of direction?

Ten things you didn't know about Queenie:


1. Favourite hindu god is Ganesha
2. Ashamedly ate 250g of pistachio barfi last night on her own
3. Loves to sing and dance to "Chamak Challo" when no one is watching as she gets ready
4. Eats chilli with pretty much every meal like a good Indian girl would
5.Waves to a wee man every morning after school drop off as he takes his morning dump. He's always there and smiles and waves...this is NOT right I know. But he now seems to wait for this morning ritual to occur. God help me...
6. Loves the deep colours of the sunsets in Mumbai
7. Hasn't had breakfast once at home yet since august (shameful fact)
8. Hasn't been to Disneyland in California yet...what can I say?
9. Didn't touch a drop of  alcohol all weekend (hmmmm seem to have a bit catching up to do this week)
10. Went to Good Earth and spent over $300 on cushions in Juhu yesterday.
11. One extra for good measure... laughed like a kid at Happy feet 2 last night with the kids...what is happening to me? Some serious bar hopping needs to be planned asap. Must speed dial "M".


And just quickly to let you all know that I FINALLY have a facebook account so please come say hello to me... I am under Queenie Suburbs and Mumbai is obviously the current city. Let's talk soon everyone. Much to do today.
Queenie x

Start small. Really small if you have to...

What's happening to me? Where's my cocktail?

Sometimes you wonder what the meaning to all of this is? I mean we are here for such a brief moment in time in the scheme of things and yet we get so caught up with such silly insignificant things... Does the wallpaper match the floor tiles? Is my dress the right colour? Did I buy her an appropriate gift? Does my butt look too big? Will we get a bigger house? Does the vase match the coffee table? Seriously none of all this actually matters. But yet.... it seems so god damned important to us at the time. All of this I suppose we create around ourselves to entertain and fill up our time while we're here. But before what? Before the great big divide of nothingness envelops us? That... I just don't know and I don't suppose you do either. Hindu's certainly don't believe that. They believe in reincarnation. Which is a nice way to think about it I must agree. Christians believe in heaven. That paradise up there somewhere waiting to welcome the deserving. I wonder just exactly what I believe in? Well the jury's still out on that one darling. I'll put it in the same cupboard as "do I believe in Ghosts?" and "does the Yeti truly exist?" Or perhaps this should go in the "What the hell is India doing to me?" cupboard...

How could you not WANT to help?

On Friday I arrived horribly late to a meeting to discuss a foundation being run in Mumbai. The chairperson herself is a gorgeous lady who is passionate about revamping and creating more funding for the foundation which assists young mothers and their infants/toddlers. A very simple idea (that most of us take for granted in our own countries) of having a community based health care worker available to give advice on health, nutrition and early childhood education for women and their young children. The foundation needs to build awareness and define a distinct profile in Mumbai and abroad. This one centre has already had over 850 families pass through it's doors and have had some wonderful success stories but it needs help. The community rooms they use are very small, the one doctor who volunteers to give free health checks is over burdened and the "mommy and me" educative classes to teach young mothers about early education and the benefit of "play" for infants is tired-to say the least.

The smile is too much

My heart immeadiately began to beat a little faster when the discussion began. And two hours later I felt compelled to assist in any way I could . But perhaps to begin with- develop a functional programme for the educative classes, some more stimulating activities and inject a little energy and enthusiasm in training some of the volunteers. I really do believe in educating the next generation. It seems the only logical way forward. And education has to begin as an infant. Teaching the mothers themselves about nutrition so they can enable their babies to grow into healthy children- is crucial for India's advancement. Over 50% of India's 1.2 billion people are under the age of 25 years. An amazing statistic...they have a huge productive workforce on the rise. But...65% of that population needs to be helped to maintain good health, nutrition and be educated. It is a huge task that has to start somewhere. And lot's of small things build together to make something bigger. Step by step. The goal would be to open these centres in as many areas of need around Mumbai and then who knows? Perhaps further. So, this Tuesday you won't find me at Sancho's sipping on a cocktail (unfortunately though it does sound really good) but I will be down in the south visiting this centre. I'm pretty nervous about getting upset but also pretty damn excited to get involved. There's something about beautiful babies that just makes my heart melt. But it's the really sick ones that I worry about. And even though it's small steps to make a difference every little advancement HAS to help. Will keep you all posted. Thanks for reading again everyone. The amount of interest from you all in the U.S is just phenomenal and of course to you all in India I say THANK YOU.

Who wouldn't melt?

Queenie x

ROCKSTAR

I can't wait to see "Rockstar" the new Imtiaz Ali film starring Ranbir Kapoor and the ridiculously gorgeous Nargis Fakhri. But the best part is that A.R Rahman is the musical director so it's full of great songs.
I might pop down to PVR Juhu and have a secret daytime screening (I can eat what I want, laugh out loud and cry uncontrollably wihout all and sundry seeing) next week. Sounds like a plan Stan.
Better call the driver- I don't want to be late for picking up the wee munchkins from school...we are going to "hostess with the mostess'" place for a swim and friday night pizza as you do. Very blessed to have good friends and so are the kids.
Here's one of my fave songs from the movie Rockstar... Enjoy!
Queenie x

LOVE 2 HATE U

Okay so there has been a lot of hoo hah about a new t.v show about to air on Star World India called "Love 2 Hate U". Basically the idea is that Arjun Rampal (yes you do know that name you saw him in Shah Rukh Khans hit "Ra One" that's right) will be hosting a show where members of the public are put face to face with the Bollywood star they HATE the most and an attempt will be made to change their minds. It's quite a crazy concept and I can only imagine there will be a lot of conflict on the show. Why would these celebrities agree to meet with someone they know HATES them? I am intrigued to say the least and look forward to having a squizz this November 20th on Star World. If not for a chuckle at least ;-) I hope they have tight security because HATE is a pretty strong word and who knows what might go down! One can only imagine- and knowing Bollywood and their love for high drama this won't dissapoint. So roll on November 20- which I'm assuming will co-incide with the end of Master Chef Australia season 3 which is hugely popular over here. Let's just see if Star World's newest offering will be a suitable replacement.
Queenie x

Arjun Rampal the ex supermodel of course

It's all just a little sexy

What part of THIS is fair I ask?

Sexy people are a plenty in this great republic we call India. Every day, anywhere you might happen to be there are sexy people. They're comfortable in their skin and natural and alive and happy. You can see it in their eyes. They have the sexy eyes on... You can be driving in the car, sitting on a bus or bumping along in an auto rickshaw but there are sexy people everywhere. Now I'm not going to say exactly where these beings have been seen in my walk of life but they're there. And I find them sexy because they're completely unaware just plodding along with their daily grind. But when you watch an Indian woman walk with her sheer colourful sari flapping about in the wind with her midriff exposed and her nose pierced...it's just plain sexy! And let's not even talk about going out in bars, restaurants or clubs because then you just end up feeling like the chubby pasty girl who can't walk straight ;-)
Anyhow just had to share that little useless piece of information with you all. Indian women are beautiful. Honestly they just ARE. DAMN them! Even their D grade sort of plump television actors have it going on. With their almond shaped eyes and cocoa coloured skin. It's just ridiculous I say. God save slightly overweight pale skinned foreigners like myself. It just isn't fair. How can I even attempt demure when I struggle through the streets sweating and panting with suspicious dark spots around my under arm area. That's the antithesis of sexy. I'm bloody doomed. Right that's it I'm off for a watermelon martini with my girlfriend "M".
Queenie x

Thank you

Well I just quickly have to say a massive thank you to everyone who read the blog yesterday from the U.S of A. I had the most reads ever in all time history and as I said in just over 2 hours there were over 500 of you online so a big huge THANK YOU to every one of you from the States. I am absolutely blown away! Right that's it- I'm celebrating with a champagne breakfast today...yoga will have to be put on hold. Stuff it.
Lots of love from the undeniable Queen of The Suburbs in Bombay.

Congrats

Awwww a big congratulations to India's most famous Bollywood Royalty couple Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Absishek Bachchan with the birth of their daughter just under a week ago. They haven't announced her name or released any photos but one can only imagine the wee tot will be genetically blessed with a mother regularly called "the most beautiful women on earth". How tough...
I also had a gorgeous cousin of mine tie the knot over the weekend on the other side of the world and really wanted to congratulate the beautiful couple. She's an ex beauty pagent winner and he's model material himself so I spose their little munchkins (no pressure) will also be blessed. I was very sad to not be able to be there myself but I just couldn't juggle everything right at the moment to get the four of us over their way. Very dissapointed. But also very proud. Awww...I'm really bloody showing my age now aren't I? Might just shut up while I'm ahead.
And a huge thank you to the 500 odd readers from the U.S.A that logged onto the page over lunch time. Very impressed. Merci beaucoup darlings! It's all just LOVE, love, love at the moment isn't it?
Queenie xxxx

Saturday night gone

Out and about in Bandra Bandstand

Saurday night was fabulous. I donned a black number with my sky high Jimmy's -of course. Hair was out and lots of black kohl on the eyes to give me that smoky mysterious look. Of course once I open my mouth all mystery is lost...forever- but it's fun to play dress up. HRH looked pretty fine himself with his black on black sharp as a knife look too.
Bandra Bandstand thankfully offered us the teeniest of teeny breezes that evening so that we could comfortably nibble, sip and mingle.  And so we did. The apartment (which makes mine look like a friggin kids size shoe box) was gorgeous. There were candles and flowers everywhere and all the doors were open leading onto the super sized wrap around balcony. The beautiful white columns shone in the moonlight and it all felt very romantic. Sort of Arabian nights meets Mumbai magic...you could have said.
There were over 80 gorgeous people there ranging from expat's to Mumbai locals to extended family members. And I met some fascinating people. A famous gossip magazine editor, an amazing man who was part of the fight for freedom in South Africa (I was actually in tears listening to his stories), Spanish wine importers, various businessmen from just about every field, stunning art gallery owners from the super cool south and of course lots of interesting ladies who do volunteer work for various NGO's.
Our hostess runs a chapter for a globally organised NGO that does amazing things for rural children in desperate need of reading materiel and a space to do it. She is a very generous, intelligent and of course beautiful woman who I am so glad to have met here in Mumbai.
Of course said hostess had one or two cocktails in circulation and the bartenders just kept refreshing my glass willy nilly so before you knew it we had a group on the dance floor including "moi". Suddenly that ever pleasant breeze seemed to just vanish and within an hour all that toe tapping madness caught up with me. I walked into the bathroom to freshen up a little and mop my brow daintily as one does in India. Indian women are annoyingly composed and ALWAYS immaculately turned out so you can imagine my horror when a rabid raccoon peered back at me in the mirror. Argh. I literally let out a scream. Of course the bathroom attendant (yes as you do in India) came to see if all was well with "madam" and I quietly reassured him that it was all good. It was then I realised that there was no toilet paper left in this particular bathroom...oh shit. I had streaks down to my cheeks. Black long smudges. I looked like Alice Cooper. No. Can't leave. I had to throw water over my whole face and scrub with my bare hands to remove the black traces staining my face.

Queenie as the clock strikes midnight

Of course it was dark in the room we were dancing in so that's why no one had noticed. When I walked out of the bathroom my face now had RED smudges all over from the scrubbing and all my make up had washed off. I looked quite possibly worse. Checking my wrist I saw it was 3 am. Perfectly fine hour to leave. I located "HRH" who seemed pinned in a corner by a very large Scottish man. I whispered into his ear without making eye contact that it was time to leave. Luckily he got the hint quick smart and after discreetly thanking our hostess with the mostess and her hubby we left. Well that will teach me right for wearing all that mascara and eyeliner and eye shadow. Forget mysterious from now on love.

Peach Martini satisfaction

It's now a good laugh in hindsight. What a great night once again full of tears, laughter and dancing with wonderful new friends. Thank you. I am loving the wonderful memories and new adventures to be had here. It's not always champagne and caviar but samosas and peach martini's suit me fine.
Queenie x

Yogi's breakfast

Yes darling make that a shot of wheatgrass

I finally made it to yoga this morning after months of saying I would! And it was fantastic. It was a beautiful morning in Mumbai today and after I dropped the kids off "HRH" and I decided to go to the Yoga house for breakfast. Mornings at the Yoga House are lovely with the ocean breeze and a nice cup of chai tea. When we arrived I bumped into some friends who somehow persuaded me to do the 8am Iyengar class. Well my muscles hadn't been worked like that in a very long time and before 15 minutes was up I was sweating and struggling to keep up. Guess I have a bit of catch up to do... damn it. The other ladies all looked so serene and relaxed. What the hell? Well I'll show them. Having said that I may need some serious muscle relaxants before class. I wonder if thats a big NO NO in the yoga world? Hmmmm.

This will be Queenie before you know it

After class I joined "HRH" on the deck (he looking smug and content with the Indian Times- me looking rather "flushed") and I settled in for some beautiful banana and almond porridge, a glass of coconut water and a shot of wheatgrass. I downed the shot of wheatgrass like a pro- you could say I've had a bit of practice with shots. And not of the wheatgrass kind.

So I left the yoga house with a twice a week month pass. Let's see how I go. If I end up looking anything like the super sexy Maud- then me and my cellulite will be very happy. Must focus. Must apply oneself. Must succeed. Must get long lean thighs like the instructor. 

The ever hopeful Queenie x

Le Mill

LOOOVE Jade Jagger's jewellery line

Popped into "Le Mill" a fab design concept store in South Mumbai today and was seriously drooling over the new Jade Jagger jewellery collection. Gimme gimme gimme. In case you don't know where "Le Mill" is- it's tucked away amidst the chaos of Mumbai's dockyards, behind Crawford market in what we could only describe  as Mumbai's equivalent to the meat packing district in NY. I could very easily of walked out the door with an Isabel Marant dress or Philip Lim top but common sense prevailed (or not!) and I managed to drag myself out with out making too much of a dint on the much heiled visa card. Anyhow just thought I'd share that with you all. Go snap up some of Jade's goodies- they are delictable.
Off for a quiet chardonnay on the balcony with the hubby. As you do on a thursday night at home in Mumbai. Tiddly winks are watching the X Factor of course which I have to admit to also quite liking. Gulp. Did I just say that?
Queenie x

Footloose and fancy free

Good morning mes chers amis! Today I felt inspired by this classic song. I don't know what it is about the eighties... but there's something about the music from back then that just makes me want to shake my butt. I'm feeling pretty damn good today. "HRH" and I are in a good funk, which when you've been together for over a decade is pretty great stuff. Sun is shining (albeit a little too ferociously) and I've just had a scrumpticious breakfast. The simple joys in life are SOOOOO good.
Right I'm off to repent my sins and be a parent helper in LIL G's class. Mother of the year I may not be...but at least I give it a shot darlings. I'm ready for those little 5 and 6 year old tyrants. Bring it on...playdoh doesn't scare me!
So, go out and shake your butts today my friends. Life is good or at least better than someone else's out there. You can always count on that.
Queenie x

The prodigal Queen returns...

It's the return of the prodigal QUEEN

Well, well, well. Look who the cat dragged in. If it isn't Queenie herself gracing us with her presence. Yes I know- once again I've been bad. Tut tut. But being bad is just so much fun so the chances of it stopping are p-r-e-t-t-y low. Now what's new in my world? Hmmm let me see.
So let's get down to it. Friday started off rather slow and then just snow balled into a really stand out afternoon AND evening. Where to start? Well...This is where the dream sequence audio plays and the screen gets all misty...
A b'day lunch for a fellow girl from "downunder" at Bungalow 9 of course. I arrived a tad late- but just in time for the free flowing champagne to make it into a glass in front of me. There were about twenty of us in all and boy did we have a laugh. You see, when you're an expat in an intense place like Mumbai you need these secret get togethers to cope with the seriousness of life. We had hired the whole place out (you never can be too careful you know- I mean ANYONE could have seen us!) and thank god we did. Because I don't think that the place would have had enough wine to serve the other patrons if not! By the time I got up to leave I had a) probably spent the equivalent of a months rent, b) eaten way too much for my poor body to cope with and c) wasn't quite too sure what my car looked like anymore! As you do. As you do. All b'day celebrations have to go off with a bang or not at all I say...

It's all champagne and caviar

By the time I got home it was already 5pm. Shocking I know.
I had just enough time to walk in the door, have a quick bite to eat, look myself in the mirror guiltily, peck "HRH" on the cheek and then the girls were off out again for friday night drinkies at Esco bar and the Elbo Room. We danced, laughed and after much deliberation decided on some pizza and nibbles for dinner. I met some really funny, somewhat fascinating people that night. Of course I'm not one to name drop but some of the interesting people I met were: a very well known Australian cricketer (in all honesty he was a bore) and his sleazy manager ( this conversation lasted all of 35 seconds) a finalist from the Indian survivor show that had just been shot in Indonesia or Bali or something, a hotelier and of course the owner of the Elbo room himself (No not Dino the Bollywood star either before you ask...he has bad skin btw but that's a whole other topic darlings!) a gorgeous young clothing designer and her european hubby and yes then of course the bar was full of all of its usual expat suspects. Needless to say I got home far too late for a respectable mademoiselle like moi. And was a write off the next day. But it was date night (pre planned and promised HRH) so I managed to scrape myself off the floor and get it together enough to go out to the movies. What did we see I hear you asking? "IN TIME" with J.T and Amanda Seifried. And it was seriously cool. Loved the very unique concept and was pretty damn impressed with Monsieur Timberlake's acting skills. I mean he's leading man stuff now isn't he. How'd that happen? How greedy is the guy? He can sing, dance up a storm, act... C'mon it's time to leave a lil something for the common man Justin ;-)

Pretty damn cool movie tbh

That brings us to Sunday. Ohhh yes- the 5 hour brunch. Great day. Great Apple Martini's. Once again we were pretty numerous. There were at least 20 of us at the table. Now where were we again? Ahhh yes, the Westin. Kids had an absolute ball. Running around in a pack with their friends terrorising unsuspecting Japanese tourists at the dessert table. Trust me it was a riot. We ate and drank like it was christmas. By that stage I didn't even remember my own name let alone what month it was....so no harm done. But when we arrived home at 6pm and discovered it was nearly dinner time we all looked at each other feeling rather muddled. As only you can in Mumbai.

Anyhow that was the weekend at a glance. You could say it was a rather social affair. I'm bloody knackered just talking about it. Upcoming events include a good friends house warming this saturday at her stunning apartment in Bandra Bandstand. And the arrival of my gorgeous french friend coming to help out on the hotel project in Rajasthan. I hope the bloody french immigration department stamp his passport quick smart. Poor thing he's been waiting a while now. Oh and our outdoor furniture arrives this weekend. That's definetly reason to celebrate. And now we'll have somewhere to plant our derriere's there's all the more reason!
Thanks to all of you who have stuck through my absence and still keep reading! Amazing. Merci beaucoup mes amis! I promise to write far more often...No seriously it's the truth ;-) Will be back before you even notice. Think I need to catch up on a little shut eye.
Queenie xxx

Secret Squirrel but why?

Time to come clean John

What I want to know is why John Abraham is keeping his girlfriend such a big secret from everyone? I mean what's the big deal?  Okay so she has a degree, is in banking and not in the entertainment industry. But so what? Perhaps they're doing it all to create even more hype about themselves? Because that's all they've achieved...more interest in this super secret affair. Nice work on his agent/managers part. But look we all know Priya Runchal and John Abraham have been seen around town together so there's really no secret at all. Maybe they like the idea of playing make believe? Hmmm who knows?

HOME sweet HOME?

I'm back and yes...still alive

Hello gorgeous people and of course Happy Diwali to you all. Our family trip to Oman was fabulous. We all love love love'd the place and will definetly be back there asap. The Shangri La resort we stayed at had a premium location with it's own private bay just out of Muscat. And with the beautiful backdrop of the desert the crystal clear waters seemed like something out of a movie set.
The wee princes were in absolute heaven... they had freedom to run all over the resort safely. But more importantly there were more than six different swimming pools and a great beach to snorkel in that was teeming with tropical fish. Of course another winner was being able to ride on camels up and down the beach every evening. What kid wouldn't like that?

Shangri La Oman

It was really heavenly being on a resort for a week and away from the hustle and bustle of that mega city we now call home. I don't know if I've ever really appreciated a resort as much! One thing Oman was great for was a feeling of really being on holiday. Really being able to relax. And when I say relax I mean I couldn't keep my eyes open. I slept like a baby any where I could find. Every time I opened my book to read a chapter I was out like a light by the bottom of the page. Ahhh bliss. Now that's a holiday. Of course the frozen daiquiri's probably had a bit to do with it too I would say..!
By day two of our wee sejour Prince M and Lil' G had tanned up to the most divine caramel colour and poor old "HRH" was burn't. As for moi? Well if I wasn't asleep I was probably dipping in the ocean or sipping on a cocktail in the shade. So no burning my white ass thank god. But alas, all perfect things have to come to an end and so did our good times. By day three my LV wallet had gone missing. It was unfortunately full of cash to make things worse. I just felt awful. I hate losing things and it put me all out of sync for the rest of the holiday. I was so mad at myself...and then of course I began to lay blame. I just couldn't F'en believe I could have been so careless. Perhaps I was drugged and robbed on my sun lounger? Perhaps the truth was more like...drunken lady misplaces wallet in trash can and sleeps through the following day whilst bins are being emptied? I'm just not sure. Hmmmm. No comment. I was probably robbed let's just leave it at that!

Gimme a Margharita and my purse back too?

But I was so mad after that. So mad that I needed to sleep it off. Oh well you win some you lose some I guess. And you know you've had a fab holiday when even after losing alot of $$$$$ and your fave LV wallet you still look back on it and say you had a good time. So I just had to say "au revoir" to my purse. No big deal. It could have been worse right?
Our family really needed that holiday...it felt really appreciated by each and every one of us. We all marvelled at the tranquility and peace, the space and freedom, the cleanliness and quiet roads.It was a breathtaking view every day from my sun lounger (even though I most probably slept through half of it!) but that's what a holiday is all about...taking a break. Oman gets the Queenie tick of approval. But you know what?
We loved every second of Oman and all the great things about it that we don't have in Mumbai- but even after all of that we were still very happy to come home. And pretty damn okay with calling Mumbai home.
For now this is our home so we might as well make the most of it and be happy with what we DO have.

Mumbai...our home

Of course a new LV purse has also now been added to my christmas wish list...c'mon I can't live without ALL my worldly items.
A big thank you to all of the loyal readers still hanging in there after the more than week long of silence. You guys are pretty fantastic! Thanks again.

Queenie xxx