Dirty Picture

Well there was a lot of hype about this movie. It's set in the eighties so it's pretty hilarious to look back on that whole era and have a laugh. The costumes and songs and makeup are so over the top- indicative of that whole period in Bollywood film. I don't know why but I keep thinking of Sri Devi when I see this trailer. She was definetly my all time eighties bollywood queen. She was so eighties. With her full lips and curvy voluptuos eighties figure. But if you see her these days she's a shadow of what she was. She's so slim and cautious and wears alot of safe colours like black, white and wait for it...BEIGE!!!! Plus she has done something to her nose. And probably other things too I'd say. It's so sad. Anyhow what was I saying?
Dirty Picture... ohhhhh. Yes I just don't see why everyone got so hyped about it being sexy? I overheard some young boys saying they HAD to go see it. But it's all in the title. Apart from having that catchy "Ooh la la Ooh la la" song it wasn't that DIRTY at all to me. Although you could be mistaken into thinking so by the looks of this trailer... but don't believe em'. This is Bollywood. Not art house french. So you definetly will not see any raw uncensored (or hairy european) body parts. LOL. Did I just say that? Looks like I did. Too funny. I need a drink.

It's been mad I tell you...

Ok so the Sangria is a nice change...

So it's been quite a week. Phew. Where to start? Nowhere. I don't think I can really do any of it justice to be honest. Lets just do a quick little list. So much easier than me having to write a beautiful long narrative...what's the diff my friends? Be kind.
Friday 9th december: A girlfriend's 35th birthday party in Bandra which ended up being ANOTHER incredibly late night. Of course by 2 am I found myself at another one of those "friends of a friends friend's" party in the south somewhere with a B grade Bollywood star to my right and a bonified prince to my left. AS you do darling....as you do. Only in Mumbai. The Moet was free flowing so in my books it's all fair in love and party land.
Saturday 10th december:  A wonderful day spent having a fabulously luxurious lie in. A slice or two of pizza and a bad Jen Anniston rom-com on the telly. Bliss.

You, me and a champers baby!

Sunday 11th december: The boys (HRH and the PM) had a very long day off playing golf with some other boys and the tiddly winks and I had a day wrapping christmas presents for our overseas friends and went to see a movie together.
Monday 12th december: Our christmas party for the children we teach english to that live on construction sites. What an amazing day!  I don't really think I can begin to describe how I felt- being there with them. It was the saddest most joyful time all at once. When the older boys gifted all the volunteers a wonderful painting as a thank you gift- we ALL just broke down into tears. It was out of joy...yet there was also an underlying sadness. It's a really tough thing to try to explain. But it just left me very raw for the whole day. Everything seemed to pale in significance. I was once again entirely consumed with love and concern and pain for the kids. I was so out of sync that I had to head over to a close friends house and just have some time out. We got through several bottles of chardonnay. What can I say. No comment.
Tuesday 13th december: An intimate lunch with some of my closest friends I have made in Mumbai. It was a pre christmas farewell of sorts. We decided to order jugs of sangria and just have a good old rant. It was fricken fantastic. Nothing like a good release...and who better with than good friends. You know what? I've met some pretty fab people since I've been in India. Thank god because when you live so far away from home you really do need close friends. I had just enough time to race home, have a quick shower, change my outfit, spray some perfume and head back out to Hakka San in Bandra for dinner with some of our other friends. Note to self: Don't try to show off about being able to eat super spicy food when eating in an establishment that has a bathroom hostess. Those walls are pretty thin and the bathroom hostess' knows all. No wonder she was smirking as I walked out. I might give Hakka San a break for a while me thinks....

One of our angels with his xmas present

Wednesday 14th december:   Prince M started our morning off with a musical performance at school. Rather early too if I may add. But alas it was a proud motherly moment for Queenie. I have to admit the wee princes have adapted to Mumbai expat life rather seemlessly (thank god or I would never have forgiven myself!) and I was filled with pride seeing them today. Even just watching them run around with their friends and appear to be at home when on campus. It's pretty great...as a parent. Now where was I?
Ahhh yes. Lunch was shared at the American Consulate General's private residence with 50 other American Women's Club members. I of course headed straight for the champagne (don't roll your eyes...it was rose champagne okay) and spotted a few friends. The food was good, lovely ladies AND I even won one of the charity raffles so it was a great day in all. Have to be honest though I was really shocked at the lax attitude with security. Nobody asked me for photo I.D so I could have honestly been anyone claiming I was on the list and been allowed entry. Pretty scary stuff. I mean I was nervous just being there for the few hours I was. Let alone having to live there. I mean the consulate general's home was really warm and comfortable and felt pretty homely but still. It would be a very tough decision to have to make to live on the grounds of the American consulate in Mumbai. Just saying.
Well that's me for now everyone. I'm bloody shattered. And of course haven't made it once to the gym or yoga. So failing the pre xmas diet and get fit plan. What a damn joke. I mean as if? Who does that?
Thanks for reading again my friends. A big hello to everyone in South Korea, Australia, Russia and Singapore! And thanks especially to all my loyal readers here in India I don't know what I'd do without you all.
Queenie xxx

Some expat huh? Seriously.

Sigh it's back to water for Queenie

Ok I gotta stop EATING and DRINKING so much. My ass is fast becoming the size of a bus. Not just any bus- one of those big red double decker ones. It's depressing. So much for christmas cheer.
I'll be happy if I just get through christmas without one of my family members commenting on my new found "Indian belly and butt". Some days I just wish I'd be hit with food poisoning or even the flu would be fine. I'm sure if all I ate were chicken noodle soups for a week I could lose at least a stone? Damn my bloody resistance- it's not fair! I take all sorts of non expat safe risks such as eating street food, having ice in my drinks and even drinking chai from the chaiwallas....but nothing. Not a nada. Every morning I wake to a healthy "grumbling for food" appetite. Bugger. Some expat I am. All I have is a hang belly (like my ten year old cat) and an ass that seems to have a life of it's own. It's going to need it's own wardrobe soon. (And sleeping quarters!)

Yoga my ass...

So maybe I should ask father christmas for a spray tan, a bad case of campylobacter and an anti cellulite butt massager. Do they even exist? Surely.
Thanks for tuning in everyone. As usual I'm overwhelmed by all the readers. And from all over the world! This week there are special thanks needed for you all from Trinidad and Tobago, Germany, Canada, Taiwan and Singapore. Fantastic stuff!
Queenie xxx